Granted, he just won a Golden Globe, but Bai Ling…look into my crystal ball.  This is all your future holds if you settle down with Mickey Rourke.  Don’t get me wrong, this is my favorite celebrity couple of 2009 and nothing save  Morrissey marrying himself in my home could make me happier than seeing these two trainwrecks locked in passionate embrace.  No celebrity pairing is able to compete. 2009, consider yourself officially over.  Inauguration of our first African-American President…yawn.  Great Depression-Era unemployment…too boring.  There is one saving grace for this devastatingly devastated duo falling in love this early in the year of our lord two thousand-nine…they have 3 months, most of which I believe Madame Ling will spend copulating anyway, in which to conceive.  Two Thousand-Nine, if you give me a Mickey Rourke-Bai Ling baby, I will never forget you.

Granted, he just won a Golden Globe, but Bai Ling…look into my crystal ball.  This is all your future holds if you settle down with Mickey Rourke.  Don’t get me wrong, this is my favorite celebrity couple of 2009 and nothing save  Morrissey marrying himself in my home could make me happier than seeing these two trainwrecks locked in passionate embrace.  No celebrity pairing is able to compete. 2009, consider yourself officially over.  Inauguration of our first African-American President…yawn.  Great Depression-Era unemployment…too boring.  There is one saving grace for this devastatingly devastated duo falling in love this early in the year of our lord two thousand-nine…they have 3 months, most of which I believe Madame Ling will spend copulating anyway, in which to conceive.  Two Thousand-Nine, if you give me a Mickey Rourke-Bai Ling baby, I will never forget you.